Here I am now—remembering the long lost child. Is she really gone? Or is she just slumbering in a deep, deep sleep? I hope I could still find her beneath the rubbles and reunite with her. I miss her. Miss her more than anyone could. I want to hold her in my arms again and feel her familiar comforting warmth. I long to see her beautiful and unaffected innocence, to stare at the mirth in those honest smiles and watch the gift of wonderment she always carry within those brown eyes.
I need to rediscover her. How she learned how to read, write, sing, climb a tree and even smile at total strangers. I need to remember how she made those paper mosaics, or those complicated origami, or even those unevenly hand-written Christmas cards she had given to the people she loved. I need to recount how she made friends, how she faced her new set of classmates when her family moved out to another place, how she cried unabashedly in front of everybody without thinking what they were thinking about her, how she dealt with embarrassing situations she seemed to be drawn into, how she blushed with embarrassment at an approaching flying kiss from an avid and unstoppable admirer, how she mourned the untimely and unexpected death of her dog she considered her best friend.
I need to have a good look at her face glowing with happiness from the simplest of things, her eyes gleaming with eagerness to live and celebrate life, her unkempt hair screaming with vigor and enthusiasm to enjoy and continue the game, her wide-opened mouth speaking of unadulterated awe and pure amazement, her small but strong hands willing to take other’s hands and show her world to them and the other way around, her muddy shoes hiding her tiny enduring feet but showing her need and yearning to tread the boundless grounds.
I need to see this child and reconnect with her. I have a hunch that she’s somewhere close, just around the corner. I have a feeling that I can find her soon enough and maybe invite her to live here, to stay with me forever. That is, if she would have me…
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